Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

Featured in Collections

poetry in motion by RedFireRaven420

Journals, Novels and Poems by TheBlackLynx


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
February 8, 2013
Image Size
14.9 KB
Resolution
400×400
Link
Thumb
Embed

Stats

Views
4,644
Favourites
279 (who?)
Comments
56
Downloads
138
×
An Unreal Reality... Inspired by Luis Royo Art by dj-dreemz An Unreal Reality... Inspired by Luis Royo Art by dj-dreemz
The Broken one I found by chance
His armor pierced only by pure love to reveal
A heart sinewy wounded and unyielding
Yet its depths are forged of gold not steel

A warm pulsing heart tortured, a body stained & torn
By turmoil, fate, an unchained bitter black pain
Released in eruptions of lust and searing angst
Gave rise to the soul of his fleshy domain

Surging molten hot from groin to thought
Thrust out into words wielding a carnal vision
A warrior of pleasure and absolute abandon
Capturing the raw rapture of a driven man risen

Seductive waves of raging creativity revealed
Judged by the fool and truly understood by the few
This Broken one I now see so very clearly
Fearing not what I see I now embrace the view

A gift of life-force is what he offers
Opening the portal to the core of a blood-red heart
This warrior poet once Broken into jagged sharp pieces
Now Welded together stronger than before he was ripped apart


written by dj-dreemz
Inspired by the art of Luis Royo
Add a Comment:
 
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013
¸¸.•*¨*•*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ To the groups this has been submitted ....Didn't know where to put this... let's just say it's fantasy poetry inspired by fantasy art. If you wish to view my inspiration please see links below. Forgive the unorthodox form of submission I was mere hours a deviant when I posted....still learning....always ¸¸.•*¨*•*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
I do not know how to edit the text after submission. I apologize for removing the original image but did not wish to mislead anyone. If you are interested in viewing the artist and images which inspired these words please visit the links below. They are not his official site, I will post those links shortly, in the meantime......
[link]
[link]
Reply
:iconbremigw:
BremigW Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
If you people will quit with all the sniping about how Luis Royo drew this, you would notice that :icondj-dreemz: already put that this was done by Luis Royo, the art that should be acknowledged here is the poem. The poem is the original work with the drawing being the inspiration.
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Thank you for that! I did not realize what I had done, I am new & my poetry is often inspired by artists and photographers, I have not quite figured out how to post them both without stepping on toes? And to post one without the other feels...incomplete. A few kind people have reached out and given me some guidance. I have a football field long of comments/replies....some not so happy with me as you see...but lesson learned, be careful what you submit because it would seem many do not look past the preview or even read the posting...
Reply
:iconredfaern:
redfaern Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
A very sad but still beautiful scene very well depicted. Good work!
Reply
:iconalinex29:
Alinex29 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
I have a puzzle with this picture :D I totally love it
Reply
:iconmoonlightyang:
MooNLightYang Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
I love Royo and this poem is beautiful!
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Thank you! I was so happy to see that your comment actually related to my poetry and that you had taken the time to go past the Luis Royo preview pic....which many did not and either mistook for my work (gasp...I wish!) or believed I was trying to misrepresent
Reply
:iconcaptainelciesmith:
Captainelciesmith Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Wow!
Reply
:iconirixian:
Irixian Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Professional Writer
The poem is clumsy, awkward and mawkish. I don't like it.
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
there is beauty even in clumsiness...especially when from the heart...critique welcomed and accepted....tell me more please....and why it is? Learning....
Reply
:iconirixian:
Irixian Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Professional Writer
Sorry. I was in a foul mood earlier and spoke a little too critically of your work.

The clumsiness comes, in large part, from the mismatch of syllables per line. Rhyming in free-verse poetry is amateurish to begin with, but when the phonetics (the way something sounds) are so far off from line to line, it strains even the most basic rhyme scheme to the point of dysfunction.

It's also really difficult to get a mental image of what you're describing. You use far too many adjectives to describe things that would be made more powerful in simplicity.

Perhaps you should read some non-Elizabethan-era poetry to see what sparsity can do for an image. Adjectives are like the goad used to drive a horse. They have a definite purpose, but too much use and you end up with a subject beaten half to death.
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Hello again, no worries, we all have 'those' days. Constructive criticism is always welcomes....vague personal opinions however leave me....blank. Thank you so much for the time and input. I speak little, but yes when I write it can get 'wordy' If you get a moment read some of my others and you will see the are usually far more brief and to the point. Unreal Reality was perhaps the longest I have written....I think I will stick to.... short n' sweet. I look forward to reading your work.....right now I am a bit overwhelmed by this Kingdom still adjusting and learning the 'do's n don'ts'....Although I embrace learning, I do not aspire to be a professional writer nor expect my work to attain that stature, merely here to share from the heart
Reply
:iconirixian:
Irixian Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Professional Writer
I hope you give me some feedback on my work. I'd love it if someone did :)
Reply
:iconlosenko:
Losenko Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013   Traditional Artist
I did not know that there is a custom to show other people's work, hmm
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
New, learning....I have a collection of my poetry that is inspired by artists/photographers, therefore it is an awkward journey for me to separate one from the other, but with the help of a few kind people here that realize I have been here but a few days....I am learning, there was no disrespect intended...in fact....quite the opposite
Reply
:iconnoahsky:
NoahSky Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
wow awesome... so intense... very good work:glomp:
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
if you are speaking of the painting, it is not mine, I am new here and have it would seem created a bit of a 'situation' by posting the art which inspired my poem...I have replies exceeding 138...and some people are not happy with me....and it seems many did not even see the poem or my acknowledgment of Luis .I am learning how to post properly, there was no intent to mislead, apologies
Reply
:iconaideekay:
AiDeeKay Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The way you've posted this needs to be redone. I understand the poem was inspired by the photo, but the way you've posted it makes people think that you're claiming the artwork as your own. What you need to do is remove this, first of all, and then make the poem a text based document or simply type it into the submit section as 'text'. Then link the photo in the description with proper credit.
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Thank you, I have only been a deviant for a few days and am still trying to figure everything out. That sounds like a great idea :)
Reply
:iconaideekay:
AiDeeKay Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No problem :) And welcome to dA.
Reply
:icononly-z:
Only-Z Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree, I saw this a while back, got confused when I saw it re-posted.
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Please ... if you would visit my comments here for explanation. I meant to mislead no one
Reply
:icononly-z:
Only-Z Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
We don't mean to judge you, it's just that when you upload poems (ect) there's a different choice for that. In this case you've uploaded art that isn't yours and then the poem in the comments section.
Reply
:iconaideekay:
AiDeeKay Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, I've been a huge fan of Luis Royo for years now.
I know his work when I see it. Just don't want this guy
getting spammed and yelled at for some misunderstanding like this :/
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
New...4 DAYS..not sure how to post but learning quick....sorry for the misunderstanding....and right now what I really want to know right now is...why do some think I am a 'guy'?...must be my short hair....lol
Reply
:iconaideekay:
AiDeeKay Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ah, sorry. I don't typically look at people's icons.
I guess I just assume everyone is a guy unless they
say differently lol
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
:D no need to apologize, you put a smile in my day ty
Reply
:icononly-z:
Only-Z Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Agreed!
Reply
:iconlisaweitmueller:
LisaWeitmueller Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
wow :O
Reply
:iconyuki-the-reaper:
Yuki-the-Reaper Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Seen it before. Not here. Somewhere famous. Oh right. Luis Royo.
Reply
:iconskelly-bone:
Skelly-Bone Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Luiz Royo did this.
Reply
:iconfatedancer:
fatedancer Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
you didnt do this, this wan't inspired by luis royo, this is his art, you just switch the signature, you can get sued for this
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
sigh... no I did not do this, forgive me I have been here only a few days. I am still learning the 'deviant' ropes, it was not my intention to mislead anyone into thinking I painted this? Had you visited it, you would have realized that my poem was inspired by his painting....I do however apologize for my posting method and am learning with the help of some kind people I have met here....the ones who are not quick to judge....but rather quick to lend a helping hand to someone who is new and extend a warm welcome.
Reply
:iconfatedancer:
fatedancer Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
I'm sorry about that it was misleading,I'm an artist my self it it really pisses me off when some one takes credit for some one alse art work it was misleading when i red this sis inspired by luiz royo art and saw his image, I apologise for going off like that
Reply
:icontundradrix:
Tundradrix Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
In the artist description it says that the text is written by dj-dreemz and it's inspired by art of Luiz Royo. So he doesn't claim that this piece of art is his work, it's there just to be an illustration for the text in the description.
Reply
:iconmyblackangelwings:
MyBlackAngelWings Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
This is a very old picture indeed, please give credit to the original artist, if you can't find that person, at least say so.
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
I did? Luis Royo....
Reply
:iconmyblackangelwings:
MyBlackAngelWings Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Also, even if the poem is by you, shouldn't it be in text form, and not as the description?
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
she sighs...I can see deviant-ville has a very 'high' expectation of newcomers...still learning, bear with me please....day 4.....hopefully more....
Reply
:iconsportfreundinanni:
sportfreundinanni Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This picture's an old one o_O And I think it was not drawn by you.
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Yes it is old, and no it was not...I am puzzled and learning have been here only days...It would seem that things posted are not actually visited nor read? I put in the title... inspired by Luis Royo, and it is my poem that I wished to share, I merely wished to show which piece of art I drew that inspiration from, but judging by the amount of feedback here this morning...138....I have much to learn about the kingdom of deviantness....apologies for any misunderstandings....
Reply
:iconfatedancer:
fatedancer Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
it wasn't the original artist is luiz royo
Reply
:iconda-shadow-dragon:
Da-Shadow-Dragon Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
hi i dont mean to be rude but is this a remake? iv seen it before
Reply
:icondj-dreemz:
dj-dreemz Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
You are not rude at all, it is not my art, it is my poem I wished to share, which was inspired by that piece of art....but being new here, I have posted incorrectly
Reply
:iconskelly-bone:
Skelly-Bone Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Luiz Royo did it.
Reply
:iconnebrija:
Nebrija Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Wow..I love it..never see something like this before!
Reply
:iconskelly-bone:
Skelly-Bone Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
It's by Luiz Royo >.<
Reply
:iconnebrija:
Nebrija Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
I know that:P
Reply
Add a Comment: